Let’s be real:
You’re doing relationship things with someone who refuses to call it a relationship.
You’re deeply in it—but still in the dark.
If you’re constantly asking,
“Where is this going?”
or
“Why won’t he just commit?”
…you might be in a situationship.
Situationships aren’t confusing because of what you don’t know. They’re painful because, deep down, you do know—but the clarity hurts. You feel seen one minute and ignored the next. Loved today, ghosted tomorrow.
It’s not love. It’s a loop.
And you can only break it when you’re ready to stop confusing inconsistency for intimacy.
💔 What Is a Situationship?
A situationship is an undefined romantic connection. You talk, vibe, bond, sleep together, you might even share deep emotional moments… but there’s no clarity, no title, and no emotional security.
Signs You’re in a Situationship:
- You act like a couple, but it’s “not official”
- He avoids emotional conversations or future planning
- You feel confused, anxious, and emotionally depleted
- You crave consistency—but get hot-and-cold energy
- You’re hoping it becomes more, but it never does
💭 Why Do Men Get Into Situationships?
One of the top questions I get is:
“Why does he act like he loves me, but still won’t commit?”
Here’s what I’ve seen over years of intuitive work and coaching:
🔹 Some were never taught what real love looks like.
They grew up with emotional neglect or dysfunction, and deep connection feels foreign.
🔹 Some were never truly loved themselves.
They crave love but feel unworthy of it—so they sabotage closeness.
🔹 Some are fresh out of heartbreak or divorce.
He wants comfort, not commitment. You’re the safe space—but he’s not ready to build something lasting.
🔹 Some have been hurt and now see all women through a lens of pain.
Instead of healing, they shut down and keep every connection surface-level.
🔹 Some truly had good intentions…
…but fear took over. They don’t want to hurt you but also don’t want to lose access to you—so they do just enough.
🔹 Some are just emotionally reckless.
They love attention but aren’t invested in your heart.
🔹 Some are facing real-life challenges.
Financial instability, career setbacks, or feeling like they’re not where they “should” be can make love feel like a distraction—not a priority. When a man doesn’t feel secure in himself, he may not feel capable of showing up fully for anyone else.
🔹 Some are emotionally and mentally unavailable—by choice.
Whether it’s stress, depression, or simply not wanting a relationship, some men are in a mental state where they cannot or will not offer anything deeper. You have to understand where a man is emotionally to know what he’s capable of giving.
🗝️ None of this makes it your fault. But all of it gives you the power to see clearly.
🧠 Why Women Stay in Situationships (Even When They Know They Deserve More)
You didn’t choose a situationship because you don’t want love.
You chose it because it felt close to love. And sometimes, “close” feels safer than starting over.
Here’s what I’ve seen again and again:
🔸 You’re waiting for him to change—because you see his potential.
🔸 You’ve already invested so much—and starting over feels overwhelming.
🔸 You confuse daily communication with emotional commitment.
🔸 You saw love in him, but ignored how little he was giving you.
🔸 You didn’t want to feel lonely—and being with someone felt better than being alone.
🔸 You believed he was the one—because the emotional connection felt so real.
🔸 You’re holding on to how good it felt in the beginning—hoping it will come back.
🔸 You fear that letting go means another woman will get the version of him you waited for.
🔸 Your ego says, “I can’t walk away now”—not after everything you gave.
The truth? Women leave when they realize their silence isn’t keeping the peace—it’s costing their power.
They get clear on what they need, and they stop shrinking to keep someone else comfortable.
🗝️ Change happens when you start honoring your own boundaries more than his potential.
You don’t need to beg for clarity—you need to stand firm in your standards.
And trust yourself enough to walk away from who he’s shown you he is, not who you wished he’d be.
🌪 Real Situationship Stories: What They Did, What He Did & What Shifted
These are the patterns I see in sessions every week. These women aren’t naive or weak — they’re powerful, loving, and intuitive. And once we bring the truth to the surface, everything begins to change.
💬 “I shrunk myself to keep him—and lost myself in the process.”
She was: Always agreeable. She never brought up the “what are we?” question. She cancelled plans, made excuses, and convinced herself to be “cool” with whatever he could give.
He was: Kind but avoidant. He liked the vibe but avoided commitment.
It created: A relationship with no growth. She felt invisible, over-functioning while he coasted.
🗝️ My Guidance:
“You’re managing his comfort, not your needs. You don’t need to work harder to be chosen—you need to stop disappearing to feel wanted.”
What changed: She pulled her energy back. When he faded, she chose peace instead of panic. Soon after, she began attracting men who showed up with clarity.
🧠 “I didn’t want to ask what we were—I was scared he’d leave.”
She was: In a 6-month situationship, deeply involved but silent about her needs.
He was: Consistently vague. Said he “wasn’t ready” but kept acting like a boyfriend.
It created: Anxiety. Insomnia. Overthinking. Hope built on emotional breadcrumbs.
🗝️ My Guidance:
“If asking for clarity makes him leave, he was never staying in the way you deserved.”
What changed: She finally asked. He wasn’t looking for more. It hurt—but it ended the ache of uncertainty. For the first time, she put herself first.
🔁 “He only shows up when I pull away.”
She was: Caught in a push-pull cycle. Every time she tried to detach, he came back stronger—until she softened. Then he vanished again.
He was: Unavailable but controlling. He didn’t want a relationship, but didn’t want to let her go.
It created: A trauma bond disguised as chemistry. Exhausting highs and lows.
🗝️ My Guidance:
“You don’t miss him—you miss the feeling of being chosen after being ignored. That’s not love. That’s a trauma response.”
What changed: She stopped reacting. We cut the energetic cord. She sat in silence and reclaimed her peace. He returned again—and she didn’t.
❓Have I Ever Seen a Situationship Turn Into More?
Yes—but it’s rare. And never because she waited around long enough to “earn” his love.
It only happened when she pulled back completely, refocused on her own energy, and let go for real. And even then—only if he was truly capable of showing up differently.
Most of the time? He didn’t.
And that became the very thing that set her free.
🔐 How to Protect Yourself from Situationships
You don’t need to guard your heart—you need to guide it.
💡 6 Soulful Shifts to Make:
- Ask for clarity early. “What are you looking for?” is not pressure—it’s protection.
- Believe what they show you. Inconsistency is an answer.
- Stop trying to earn love. Real love never needs convincing.
- Detach from potential. Who he might become isn’t your job to chase.
- Don’t over-function. If you’re doing all the work, he’s not invested.
- Let go without proof. If you’ve been unsure this long… you already know.
🌿 You Were Never Meant to Live in “Almost”
You’re not too much.
You’re not hard to love.
You’re just finally ready to stop loving with your fingers crossed.
When you stop settling for confusion, you make space for clarity.
When you stop trying to be “easy,” you become aligned with someone who actually wants to love you fully.
🔮 Ready to Uncover His True Intentions?
If you’re tired of decoding mixed signals, sitting in emotional limbo, or giving more than you’re getting—let’s talk.
In a private session, we’ll:
✔ Uncover his true intentions
✔ Reveal the energetic patterns keeping you stuck
✔ Get clarity on what’s real (and what’s not)
✔ Identify what you need to shift to attract the love you deserve
👉 book your intuitive reading or relationship coaching session now
Your clarity is closer than you think.
And so is the love that finally stays.
With love and logic,
Kitt
Certified Dating & Relationship Coach | Astrologist | Psychic Tarot Reader
